Break Fluid

It's so strange. 
I was in full action mode
Working on all the various
And doing that next year stuff
Word of next year
Plans and goals and dreams.
And thinking I'll just waltz through the holidays 
And not pay any attention this year.

And here’s the thing.

I’ve been lax about my menorah lighting 
In fact didn't even own one anymore.
But I’ve been feeling pulled towards the Jewish 
Maybe I’m feeling defiant
Rebelling against the anti-semitism
Maybe I followed enough cool Jewish stuff
That my stream filled in 
Where a rabbi would be.
Or maybe
It's just a natural coming home.

Anyway I mentioned in a post
That I didn't have a menorah 
And was gifted 4. #grateful
I chose one and placed it on a plate
That my much missed friend
Taylor Negron left me.
It’s a blue and white plate.
With the most energized soaring bird.
But I’m afraid to eat off it
And it has been sitting waiting.
For what?
Just this moment.

Of lighting a menorah
And singing the blessing with my Mitch.
And praying that all the miracle makers 
Here and in heaven 
Help us through to the time 
When we can look back and see 
How the whole earth
Was made sacred again. 
Praying we can all dance
With the chaos of this changeful time.

And somewhere between night 3 and 4
The solstice hit.
The darkest night.
And thought I thought I would
And even planned to
Just plow through
I thought would happen.
I would just carry on.
Plus the menorah.
But then the darkest night
And everything shifts.

I'm sitting with open work files
And clicking through on sacred geometry videos.
108 and all it means.
Whoah by the way.
At one point I was like
Oh I need to get a license plate 
With 108 in it 
And instead of continuing to work on my book  
I went to the DMV site
Where I learned that only cars made in 1969
Are eligible to have vanity plates
That include the number 69.
What?! Are we in 6th grade?
That snapped me back into work for a bit.

But then I also got pulled
Into snowflake and water crystal photos.
And remembered 
My Dr Emoto story
And how loving your water 
Changes the water.
And how you are like 88% water.
So loving yourself
Changes you.
It’s not just nice.
It’s part of the creative process.

And so I didn't beat myself up 
For not just plowing through work.
And I let myself ache into the darkest night.
And eat some chocolate.

But today
The day we turn back towards the light
I’m thinking about the creative life
And how the taking breaks part
Is different than for other folx.
When you’re doing work you love
It’s not always appealing to take a break.
The rest of life can be a pale experience
When your work is so vibrant.

And sometimes
You have worked so hard to get momentum
A break seems counter productive.
Maybe even actually destructive.

But you know in your heart
If you never take a break
You don’t get the perspective
That distance/space can give you.

But a lot of times
Creatives are inclined to take breaks
We have created.
That time between drafts.
Or that mini vaca after a tour that ends
Somewhere beautiful.
Or maybe a regularly scheduled weekly whatever.
(Even you know who did that on day seven.)

And especially now when being a creative person
Is so much about hyphenation.
And the energy required to move
From gear to gear
Writing to promoting to producing to drawing
To video to directing to stand up to…
I think about what’s required to shift these gears
As transmission fluid.
And breaks really help.

Other things do too.
I used to get high.
I thought that helped.
Maybe it did.
Moving can do it.
Yoga.
Meditation.
Sometimes even the other work.
Household or business.

But to some extent
Rest is required.
Breaks are mandatory.
And sometimes those breaks
Come at a very annoying moment.
I’ve worked with so many folx
Who just as they are about to
Get to speaking a huge truth
Develop laryngitis.
It’s crazy how many times
I’ve seen that happen.
Or a cold.
Our bodies just saying hey
Let’s gather ourselves
For this next part.

And sometimes it’s nature.
Telling us to create in alignment
With the creative energy of everything.
No matter where we are in the draft.

So light your lights.
And take the kind of break
That will help you be the miracle you are.
Resanctify your work.
And shine on!

Infinitely yours…
xx
B