New-ish You!
Wow. There is so the year of the
Backlash against
Becoming The New You.
Don’t feel pressure to be a version of you
That is bright and shiny etc.
And ok.
Point taken.
And maybe it’s because we feel
Like some of the biggest things that need to change
Are outside ourselves.
Systems.
And you know.
Fair.
But if there isn’t something
That you could shift
That would make your life/your partner’s life/the world better
Then wow.
Either congratulations
Or I’m sorry.
My desire to change
Is so strong.
It’s matched only
By my desire not to change.
But deciding
To be The New You?
It’s never that simple.
And one reason it feels ridiculous.
Is the how is sometimes so left out.
How are you going to do it?
And the thoughtful decision about what exactly.
What change is key.
The two things we can change
Habits and mindsets.
What to do.
And how.
How to think differently.
And not revert when those thoughts
Don’t immediately change everything.
So ok.
You change that way.
You don’t become The New You!
Like this unrecognizably so version of you.
But you can become the New-ish You.
One that feels different from the inside.
One that moves through the world with more grace.
One that is working on work you love.
One that laughs more easily
Or cries more easily.
The Newish You.
Not the Brand New You!
Your history can’t change for instance.
But you can learn to see it differently.
You can reach a place of no - or less - regret.
But that comes from changing your now.
And your future.
The facts of our stories don’t change.
And yet somehow our stories do.
And that comes with the process
Of year after year
One day at a time
Becoming the new-ish you.
As they say
To thine own self be true.
It’s a getting wiser and wiser
About who you are.
Who you really are.
What your purpose here is.
How can the best you
Come forth.
You are needed.
And if you are not you
The new-ish you
More able to express and manifest
All that you were born to do
How can you help?
All that isn’t your most wonderful you
Is just weighing you down.
This is where sometimes jealousy is helpful.
When you are jealous
It is your soul telling you
Hey your true heart’s desire
Has something to do with this.
Think of how many people
Have things/fame/experiences you don’t have.
You are not jealous of them all.
Your jealousy can sometimes lead you to
The next step in your New-ish You project.
Plus.
Changing is exciting.
There’s action.
Sometimes if you don’t know what to change
And you feel stuck
Start with what you can change easily
Just for change’s sake.
Take a different route home.
Or.
Pick a word of the year.
Last year my word was organize.
Wrote about it here.
And it really did change my life.
You don’t have to decide by Jan 1.
Take the next few days
To play with.
Play. I def don’t do that enough.
But also it’s not going to be my word of the year.
What might a meaningful word for you be?
It should feel specific.
And layered.
Maybe a little scary.
Yes it can be a phrase.
Think of it as a guiding light.
Stupid example.
Instead of saying
I’m going to be someone who goes to the gym
Five days a week.
Choose the word fitness.
Because maybe you discover you like online ballet classes.
And maybe you discover
That fitness means so much more than going to the gym.
The gym five days a week stands for fitness.
But it isn’t fitness.
See what I mean?
But also sometimes a small habit
Can be something you decide to change.
Not scrolling in the morning.
As a way of expressing to yourself
You protect your focus.
Checking your bank balance daily
As a way of reminding yourself
You’re not afraid of money.
Prayer as a way of connecting by speaking.
Meditation as a way of connecting by listening.
The New-ish You is you.
That’s the thing.
It’s just you in the constant state of change.
There is no set thing that is you.
But there is a part of you
That can never change.
Treasure that part.
Maybe treasure is your word;)
Even the word you is kind of new.
Look at the ngram of its usage!
Though they do say ngrams are kind of unreliable.
But still in a world that was all thou and ye.
You took hold.
And grew.
And you was new.
But now not so much.
You is everywhere.
And you are too.
In a sense.
That everywhere means potential.
What is yours that is unmet.
So yes.
Change.
Don’t let the New You Backlash
Talk you out of this once a year chance.
Shif
Resolve. Proclaim. Imagine.
Hope. Decide. Refine. Express.
Seek. Let go. Aim.
So many verbs for how to do it.
But I hope you let yourself do it somehow.
Make a vision board.
Pick a word.
Get honest with yourself.
There’s no one way.
It’s your one and only life.
As the one and only you.
In this one and only year.
Day by singular day.
Moment by indescribably infinite moment.
Go for it.
And let it go for you.
So.
Happy healthy wholly New Year.
Thank you for being here in this my first year on Substack.
It was part of how I changed.
And I’m looking forward to
Being here next year with you!
Feel free to share in comments your New-Ish You takes.
Love to hear them.
Infinitely Yours,
B