All This Now

In Life, Lifehack, Mental Health, Motivation, Work in Progress, Writing by Beth Lapides

All this.
Finally.
I landed on all this.
As way to say now now.
When I need a phrase that means now.
Covid doesn’t half cover it.
Too small and clinical.
Pandemic is bigger but still seemed medical.
Craziness.
Too I don’t know.
Hinted at wacky.
How are you doing in the madness?
Not quite right either.

Then I heard myself say
In all this.
Yes.

All. So many parts of it.
The politics/economy/civil war part.
The numbers part.
The personal transformation part.
The looking inward and changing.
The not looking back.
While being completely uncertain about what lies ahead.
The eyes of it.
The 48 hours per day of screen time.
The mouth of it.
The masks.
The I can’t breath.
And more of course.
You’re keeping up.
I don’t have to run it down.

The all of it.
The expansion of all.
And the this.
The precision and contraction.
All this.
There’s a sanskrit word
Spanda.
It’s translated as ‘the scintillating pulse’.
I love that.
Expansion and contraction.
That throb.
Spanda.
Expansion and contraction.
That must be how they came up with the name spandex.
No?
Spanx too.
Right?

All this.
It’s so everything.
And so specific.
And in some ways hopeful.
All ness.
Wholeness.
Thisness.
Is ness.
This isn’t rational.
This is the poetry of all this.

And UnCab too.
There’s an allness too.
The more than the sum of its parts.
And the thisness.
UnCab is so very specific.
All this.

When I look at the line up
That’s what I like to feel.
All this.
And more.
The more.
That’s you.

Thank you for being the more.

With Love and For Now, For All This

xox Your Sunday Girl xox Beth

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