I watched Dune this week
And it reminded me of reading it.
One of the most life changing books.
In such a weird way.

I was a cigarette smoker for a bit.
But I knew it was bad for me.
And I wanted to quit.
So I decided to read Dune.
That was my whole quitting smoking strategy.

I don’t remember why I chose Dune.
Or how I’d acquired it.
I’m not a huge science fiction reader.
Gift? Used book store? The groovy typeface?
Anyway I got into my loft bed with it.
I never smoked in bed so it was a safe zone.
I started reading.
And when I was hungry
Or thirsty
I’d butterfly it
And walk the few blocks and get a fresh carrot juice.
Which did perfectly match the cover.

I’ve been very grateful to Dune for helping me quit.
And I’ve always remembered three things about it.
1. The way the witchy sorceress goddess character used voice control.
Made me want to learn vocal technique.
2. Spice. An addictive substance that controlled the universe.
Prophetic. And helped with the quitting smoking.
3. And the idea that fear is the mind killer.

It’s the last one I really want to talk about today.
Because people have been wanting to talk to me
About the annoying voice in their head that asks
Why me?
As in why should I write the script.
The book.
The why me of who do I think I am.
One person described it to me
As what happens when she gets close to the brass ring.
Others when they are starting out.
Why me?

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Why me is completely fear based.
And facing the fear is so key to creativity.
Courage.
Why me even sounds like whining.

Part of the fear is a defense against changing.
If you do this project you will have to change.
Are you sure you are up for that?
So instead of saying
I’m not prepared to change
Which let’s face it does sound kind of cowardly
We ask why me.
Which sounds kind of humble.

Also what if I’m wrong.
What if I just think it’s me.
And it’s not.
So, ego.
Wanting to be right.
Fear of not being right.

And under it
Knowing how great it is to get to do creative work.
Why you?
Actually everyone doesn’t wish they were doing it.
It only feels that way because you want it so much.
And that desire is a gift.
God given.
Goddess given.
Source given.

Why me?
Because you’re the one with the idea.
You’re the one who wants to.
You’re the one who’s willing to ride the rollercoaster.
You’re the one who has that perfect first line.
You’re the one willing to tear up a draft and start over.
You’re the one who wants to wake up early or stay up late for it.
You’re the one who has timing.
Who has that face.
That voice.
Those hands.
You’re the one who is you.
You’re the one it chose.

You’re the one who will be changed by it
And who it will most change.
No matter who else sees it, works on it, reads it, hears it.
You’ve been assigned it.
Even if you had to dig deep to find the assignment.

That’s why you.
Go do it.

Infinitely Yours,
Beth