Pencil it in

I made the mistake of running errands today at 5.
It was really too much.
But I try to plow through
Sometimes when I should back off.

 And then my favorite Starbucks 
Corner of Santa Monica and Fairfax
Where we know each other
Was closed.

I didn't miss it
They've changed their hours of operation.
5 AM - 2:30 PM
What?! 
That can't be right.

I like to say hello
To those guys in the afternoon.
I like them to say hello to me.
Well ok.

Accept the things we cannot change.
But for a hot minute 
It really felt like - just no!

Three shots over ice in a venti cup with cold day foam.
Is it the caffeine
The smiles
Or the certainty?
The cup in hand
Hopefully headed back to work.

So I came home
And did have a little breakdown.
Sorry honey.

And it took saying
It was this text
And that story
And the way that guy looked
And the sketchy vibe
And a weird alert
And the email that didn't arrive
And that news story
And and and.

So it took me a beat
Or two
To remember.

That I love uncertainty.
It's where all the miracles happen.
It's easy to forget.
Because wanting to know.
Knowing is fun.
Even being certain about uncertainty
Feels better.

But the year is turning.
And hope.
It's a feeling about now.
Not later.
A feeling to fight for.
So I tried to blow my shofar.
Nothing.
Except kind of hilarious.
Reminding me it’s the process.
Not the result.

But it’s nice to hear the sound.
Results not required but appreciated.

The next day I went to the Starbucks
Wanting to make sure the guys were ok with their reduced hours.

Oh they said.
That was just for yesterday.
What?
No.
We’ve adjusted our hours of operation.
That’s not what that means.
But I was in no mood to be the grammar police.
Just grateful they were ok.
I could get afternoon coffee there.

But it just reminded me how much
Everything is written in pencil now.

But for the moment
I felt better.
And being for the moment.
Is a good thing to be for.

PS Get your tickets now for the next Zoom on Sept 19

And for planning...

Saturday Oct 9 El Cid

Sunday Oct 17 Zoom

Saturday November 20 El Cid

November Zoom TBD