The Best Eviction Ever

In creativity, Inspiration, Life, Los Angeles, Motivation, Writing by Beth Lapides

There was an intriguing pile of stuff
On the curb next door to Mitch’s house.
We went to take a peak.
The neighbor came outside.
Told us they were moving.
The house has been sold.
They’d been living there for years he told us as he stuffed one more thing into the car.
Almost his whole adult life.
His hair was slicked back and he looked freshly showered.
Like he was excited about the adventure.

Probably a teardown for a McMansion, he offered.
We nodded looking at the house, which as we all already knew, was not going to be a great loss.
Despite whatever feelings you might have about the McMansions.

I asked where they were going.
He and his wife.
I’m an artist he shrugged.
Which we knew.
But what he meant was, I need space.
For now we’re going to my wife’s mom’s place.
In Miracle Mile, he said.
Then we’ll see.

He went back in the house.
We decided to take a newish IKEA storage unit for the laundry room from the curb pile.
Oh good he said when he came back out.

Then, oh hey.
I have two pieces of marble.
I was going to do something with them. Coffee tables.
But they were too heavy for the moving van.
You know how that is #bythepound
I got them when I was working at.
And he named a swanky hotel.
You get to know people in the coming and going.
Do you want them he asked.

I said yes. Maybe. I love marble.
Mitch said yes. Should we?

I was excited about meeting this marble.
Marble is so sexy.

He lead us back behind the shrubs.
Up against the tree were two slabs.
That back one is better he said while we admired the front one.
It took two of us to pull the front one forward so we could see the back one.
It was a special stone.
Yes of course.
I love even the most pedestrian marble.
And this was beyond.

We measure it with my body.
It’s just about as tall as me with my heels.
And as wide as my fingertips to my arm pit.
We have a should we, let’s, are you sure, it’s heavy, will it fit, it’s so beautiful few minutes.

I go change into sneakers.

Wow it’s heavy.
But we carry it in and put it on the dark metal coffee table.
Immediately the room is better.
Not just in a decor way.
Vibrationally more coherent.
Unfortunately it’s not quite wide enough by a few inches.
The finger tip to arm pit measurement hadn’t been exactly precise.
Ok fine.
We put out the mental call for the right base to arrive.
It will.

And then I sit down on the couch.
Just to be near it.
Like you do.
Hello love.

A refection of the window floated near the candle.
Clouds drifted across the stone.
Sky slyly layered on earth.
I thought about how easy it is in this now
To lose our marbles.
And how we find our marbles together.
As we move in this dance.

And then I just kept looking at it and smiling.
I freaking love marble in the house.
Maybe it’s my name.
Beth means house.
Lapides means stone.
So, stone house.
Or stoned in the house.
Ha ha. Not me now.

And mostly I thought about how It arrived with such perfect timing.
That’s the true beauty of it.
As I’m working on the show about my own story of leaving a place because the landlords had sold it.
So layered.
It’s the story that launches the grand adventure in 100% Happy 88% of the Time.
And I’m deep in it now, getting ready for the Wednesday pop up.

Later on that night the neighbor told Mitch how much they were getting to leave.
Still. There’s the leaving.
I mean where to go now?
So many people told me that being evicted was the best thing that ever happened to them.
And that became my goal when I was evicted.
Not that it would be fine.
Which is my default.

And in so many ways it was.
It was crazy hard.
But crazy great.
And maybe the best thing, or the second best thing, that ever happened to me.

So now I sit at that table, thinking of the un-located neighbors.
Hope their journey to a new house is as miraculous as mine has been.
And I hope yours includes
Being in the house with us
At Rockwelll on Wednesday night for
100% Happy 88% of the Time.

Mitch will be there with his magic on keys.
Jamie Bridgers will be my special guest opener.

Tickets here! And now.

Also, It’s evolved a lot… but here are some nice things people have said about the show along the way….

“Uplifting!” Los Angeles Times
“Mind-expanding!” LA Weekly/Best of LA
“Life-affirming and hilarious!” Edge Magazine
“Hilarious powerful fun!” Frontiers Magazine
“Unique and inspiring!” NBC/The Feast
“Profound!” Jewish Journal

Info and reservations!