moving

IN THIS PLACE: I MOVED

In Uncategorized by Beth Lapides

End of an era. I moved. Out of the magical little place where I landed when I changed my life. It was a guest house in the truest sense. I learned so much there, and not least of all, the way that we are all guests here on earth. It’s all temporary. And learning to embrace that, has made me a more grateful, humble and in a sense a more carefree person. Not careless though.

In this place I learned to feel again after many years of being numb. I cried all the tears that go along with that. But always with the backbeat – at least I can feel.

In this place I shepherded UnCabaret through its 25th anniversary show and celebration. And started to make sense of that part of my life’s story and got to see it and myself on the cover of the LA Weekly. Though when I walked to the corner to get that paper they were just delivering it. So I asked the guy for one and said that’s me. No it’s not he said. Ha ha.

In this place I lived through my mom’s transition. And started to understand that part of my story too. As it happens yesterday the day I moved was the anniversary of her death. Or maybe not as it happens. Because in this place I started to really believe that everything is unfolding in divine and perfect order. I started saying it as a joke. But of course only the truth is funny.

On the little window in the kitchen I wrote in red lipstick: tell your story – creativity is not linear – video. I still don’t use video enough. Maybe now I will.

In this place I divorced. And fell in love. In this place I learned to love. And be loved.

In this place I recovered from bankruptcy.

In this place I wrote. I wrote stand up. I wrote email blasts. I wrote a feature. Two pilots. A spec. And more. I wrote in journals. I ghost wrote for clients. I wrote spoken word pieces. I wrote prayers. Blogs. Songs. New drafts of the show. I wrote and wrote and wrote.

In this place I recovered. And I discovered what I was recovering from.

In this place I refined my teaching. And had the joy of watching students flourish.

And I watched as my life got bigger and bigger. In this tiny little place.

It was the place where I found out what it means to get on your knees. Where I struggled with what I believe in. Where I learned faith. Bit by bit. Where I let go of needing answers and began to love the questions.

In this place I faced the awesome question. The truly awesome one. Do I want to be here? The answer – yes! – came to me in a beautiful and profound way in a story I have yet to truly write. But I will. Here in the new place.

Yesterday I moved the last of the boxes with help from my big love sweetheart Mitchell Kaplan – and from merch maven mover extraordinaire Joseph Angelo Warner. And all the angels who saw me through these miraculous and mysterious and in many ways magnificent years.

I’m so grateful for this place and the people who trusted me to come into their lives.

And I’m so excited for the next chapter which has already begun. I let things overlap. Or spiral. Or circle around. Because creativity is not linear. And life – though it seems to be – isn’t exactly linear either.

Much love. And gratitude to you who have been with me here as I danced with the chaos of this time.

Ever upwards.

Xox Your Sunday Girl